Meet The Parents @9.30pm- E4- 2 out of 10

Bloody hell, where to start with this huge pile of steaming sub-par excuse for television entertaintment? Let's start with the premise I suppose.

The idea of the show is that a girl takes her boyfriend to go meet her parents for the first time, a terrifying experience anyway, but, hey, let's make it even worse for these poor saps. Let's replace the girlfriend's family with actors and put the lad in horrendously, cringey situations. If he can survive five hours in the family home, he wins a holiday to an unspecified destination, Butlins before it closes perhaps.

Standby for an incredibly long list of criticisms.

Firstly, if I had been going out with a girl for eight months and I had not met her family, that's not the best pretext

Secondly, if I had been going out with a girl for eight months, a fair amount of time, and it looked as if it was a long lasting relationship, I'd be pretty hacked off if she thought it would be a jolly jape to fuck around with the first meeting with the potential in-laws. I'd probably be within my rights to tell her to bugger off after the show has finished and go on that Butlins holiday on my own and get an STD while I'm there.

Thirdly, if you are going to create these awkward cringey situations, at least make them appear believable to anyone with more than three brain cells. The gardener getting off with the mum? The hippy sister? The uptight, headmaster of a father? These are characters and situations from a sub-MTV (whisper it, sub-4 Music?) sitcom, and even in that they wouldn't be at all believable.

Fourthly, giving a young woman, who may well be in love with their boyfriend, the incentive for a holiday at the expense of the humiliation of their other half smacks a bit of exploitation. Perhaps welcomed exploitation but it appears to be taking advantage of a young woman by bribing her without thinking of the potential damage it can do to her relationship

Right, what else can I pick holes in about this show? The acting is at about the level of Hollyoaks, the voiceover man builds everything up beyond belief. Even the bloody font of the little countdown clock gets on my nerves.

Overall, whilst not having the best ethical grounding, this show could have worked if done properly. Instead, it's been put together to be as over-the-top as possible and rather than the situations the boyfriends are in being cringey, the whole show is one great big toe-curler.

The Myth of the Anfield Atmosphere

If you say something loud enough, often enough and for long enough, a large number of people will begin to believe what you are saying is fact. Take note of the 'Birther' movement in the US post-Obama's election and most other conservative rhetoric.

However, this does not mean what you are saying is correct, which brings me neatly on to the subject of the world famous Anfield atmosphere generated by the fans of Liverpool FC and indeed the British media.

We've all heard it before; "another superb atmosphere on a European night here at Anfield" says the commentator. "The Kop are in full voice tonight" replies the analyst. And at times they are correct, most vividly in European ties like against Olympiakos, Juventus and Chelsea in 2005, Chelsea again in 2007 and Real Madrid in 2008. In ties like this, it is clear to see the atmosphere played a part in creating what were incredible European nights at Anfleld.

What's the running theme in all of these games? They were all against either big European teams or must-wins matches that were easy to be psyched up for from a fan's viewpoint. Fans of Reading (even probably Chelsea) would create a superb atmosphere for games like that for God's sake.

But when it comes to games like tonight's against Napoli, you could hear a pin drop for large swathes of the first half and it was only the introduction of Steven Gerrard at half time that galvanised the Kop. And when smaller Premiership teams go for 'their big day out' at Anfield, the atmosphere is no different to any other ground, i.e. largely determined on how well the home team is playing.

I'm not saying the Anfield atmosphere is below average. There are some times when I'm sure it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end but there are tonnes of times I've felt this at the Madejski Stadium, a ground not at all known for its amazing atmosphere.

Perhaps, in the past (way before my time) Anfield was a unique place to experience football but equally, this view seems somewhat out of date now where it is largely a benign atmosphere, heavily reliant on stimulus from the players and only truly outstanding in important games.

On not being able to see your team play every week

On not being able to see your team play every week

Going to university has taught me many things; shorthand, media law, Harvard APA referencing, how to live with people, just how big a knobhead landlords can be, how to make shepherd's pie and the value of a tactical chunder being but some of the highlights.

But one of the biggest lifestyle changes has been the realisation you can't get to see your football team play every week. From having a season ticket and going to the odd away game, lack of money leads to seeing a maximum of five games a season.

Furthermore, being a fan of a team outside the top flight means you become reliant on sources other than TV to get information on your team. With maybe three games on TV at most throughout they year, these other sources become your best friends.

For example, today, for the epic Reading-Doncaster game, I had on the go the BBC live updates, Sky Sports Scorecentre for results updates and live tables, the Reading official site for live text updates and Reading FC forum Hob Nob Anyone? for comment, flicking between each whilst attempting to work on the student paper at the same time.

The best part of this is, unlike watching on TV with other people, you are in your own little world when following the game, becoming engrossed in it while others go about their business around you. So, when something exciting happens, like Reading's comeback from 3-1 down to 4-3 win today, you genuinely frighten people when you punch the air for no particular reason.

Don't get me wrong, being there would have trumped that feeling by a long, long way but the other thing university has taught me is to make the most of what you can get.

The Event- Fridays @ 10pm- Channel 4- 6 out of 10

Not everything that is advertised to death is very good, PhoneShop on E4 probably being the best example ever. But then again, dramas that are really heavily advertised can deliver, like Downton Abbey, or so I'm told at least, I can't watch it as I own a penis.

(Incidentally, every time I saw the advert for The Event, it made me think of the post-apocalyptic quiz show in That Mitchell and Webb Look which made me involuntarily laugh when said advert came on, or maybe I was just laughing at the pomposity of the stupid ad.)

Moving on, The Event is kind of like a cross between Lost (although that maybe due to the presence of an airplane) and the movie Vantage Point. Action flicks between the views of different characters and at different points in time, ranging from going back 66 years in the past to 10 minutes.

The basic plot, from what I can work out so far, is that people-looking aliens (representing terrorists), are locked up in an Alaskan military prison (representing Guantanamo Bay), until President Martinez (representing Obama) decides to release them.

But, before his announcement, a plane almost flies into the Presidential retreat (which looks nothing like Chequers) but is diverted by a big bubble, or something that looks like a big bubble anyway. The plan ends up in an Arizona desert and then the mindfuck gets really intense.

What follows is a woman in a bikini, some guns, another woman in a bikini, some guns on a plane, a shirtless man, some guns in a hospital, a topless man with a broken arm all thrown in with dollops of CONSPIRACY and SUSPENSE and INTRIGUE.

Suffice to say, the show is interesting at the very least but it's also desperately unrealistic. Case in point, I'm fairly sure a car cannot follow in the path of a jet engine without getting blown away and I'm also quite sure that when a plane crashes in a desert, not everyone will survive (all of them are dead by the end of second episode though).

Some of the acting can be a bit on the wooden side and some of the plotlines are yet to convince but the opening two episodes have laid a good foundation for what will hopefully be a show that develops as it goes on.

The Inbetweeners- (Just over) Mid-Season Review- 7 out of 10

The true secret of the successful sitcom is longevity and it's a secret that the British comedy scene has largely failed to crack. The number of British sitcoms to remain consistently top quality past about four series is depressingly few in number compared to their American counterparts.

For one reason or another, British sitcoms do not seem to be able to retain their originality and humour for too long, with the notable exception of Peep Show. Sadly, The Inbetweeners seems to be following this trend.

For me, the issue is popularity. Once a show gets 'big-time' it tends to have the habit of taking its core viewers (the ones who made it popular in the first place) for granted whilst it goes off looking for more support by being more outrageous than before. This appears to be the problem with The Inbetweeners.

What started out as a very realistic of depiction of sixth form life (well, it was for me at least), the 'anti-Skins' if you prefer, has become more and more desperate to keep that realism but in doing so it's become something of a parody of itself. The end of old episodes had believable gross-out scenes but increasingly, every episode in this series ends in a gross-out scene that is more and more unrealistic (and usually sees Simon without clothes on).

Meanwhile, there is a distinct lack of character development; Jay is still boasting of his fake sexual exploits (which is a shame after the tender side we saw of him in the final episode of Series 2), Neil is still plodding along with no real character growth and only the occasional awesome one-liner to show for it whilst Will lacks a love interest to chase so he is left being a rather boring character. Simon is the only character to evolve this series, through his relationship with Tara, but he now appears to be back to square one, i.e. loser chasing after the unreachable girl (Carli).

However, that is not to say that the series hasn't been funny. Not by a long stretch. Despite starting off slowly, the series has really come to strength, in terms of humour, in the last two episodes.

The episode of the double cinema date and Neil's 18^th is certainly a classic (note Jay's boast before getting on a motorbike "My dad used to drink with Lance Armstrong" and the superb end scene of Will's 'break-up' with Kerry) whilst last night's episode was superb with genuine laugh out loud moments.

It was good to see some of the realism that got me watching the show was back in place again and Simon's "tactical wank" and failure to get wood was simply amazingly funny. And how can you forget the scene on the doorstep of Tara's sister house, with Will explaining why he won't be going to Warwick Uni and why Simon and Tara are really at the house. Painful but hugely humorous.

Overall, it will be interesting to see what the last two episodes bring to the party. Hopefully they will be set us up well for a strong fourth series and not a renewal of the initial slow decline.

What My First Day As A London Commuter Has Taught Me

Well, today was my first day as a proper out-of-town to the capital commuter. Reading to Teddington via Twickenham. Alright, it's hardly Soho or the City or Fleet Street but it's a start. Besides, FourFourTwo magazine is the biggest publication I've worked at in my fledgling career (and I include the last issue of Pugwash's massive distribution in that).

Being a person that has never really lived before, the amount of times I've been to London can be counted on the fingers of one hand, even if said hand had once been put through some kind of farm equipment and was left without the full complement of digits.

As a result, I'm still rather new to the whole working in London thing and so some things still raffle baffle or amuse my simple, less urban mind.

Firstly, fold-up bicycles. ALOL. Has fashion and environmental consciousness ever been so further apart? They look like trombones when folded up and paper imitations of bicycles when unfolded. And the smug look on their owners faces? Bugger off. I can save the environment by not looking like a twat. It's called walking and it's free. Jog on, so to speak.

Secondly, and this is more a public transport in general kind of thing, why can't there be lanes in railway stations, like motorway lanes. For example, you can have old couple, slow walking man on phone and tourist on the slower lane, then fast walkers in the middle lane and people running to catch their trains or "VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO RUN EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT" in the outside lane. Simples, n'est pas?

Thirdly, working on your lunch break. This used to be an alien concept to me, much like having sex with your socks on or watching a show with Fearne Cotton in it. Sadly, and thankfully, only working during my lunch hour has now become familiar to me. Well, I've done it toady but I don't like it!

Lastly, the token man running for a train. Usually a source of amusement for me, not today. Today, it was me. I ran and I ran, bulldozing women with shopping on the way as I went, like a sweaty hippo in a green hoodie.

Oh how things can change. Even in a day.

A Thought on the International Response to the Pakistani Floods

Not my original thought but courtesy of my dad and I completely agree.

If the West seriously wants to get Muslim states on their side in the War on Terror/Islamic fundamentalism, why have they given groups like Al-Qaeda the perfect ammunition for propaganda by their response to the floods in Pakistan?

By not donating huge amounts of aid to the ravaged Muslim country, unlike in the aftermath of previous natural disasters, the new propaganda message of Al-Qaeda is simple:

"Look, after Haiti's earthquake, they got huge amounts of aid. After the 2004 tsunami, a tonne of aid was donated to the countries affected. But look, when a disaster is based in a Muslim country, no aid is forthcoming because the West hates Muslims."

Simple, perhaps not true, but devastatingly effective. If I was a Pakistani man who has lost his family and possessions and saw no aid being given to my country, I would certainly believe such a message if I heard it.

So, why are the West ruining their best chance at reviving their relationship with the Islamic world? David Cameron's "terrorists" comments probably didn't help is all I would say.

Must Be The Music- Sundays @7pm Sky One- 7 out of 10

Apart from the crap grammar in the title, the blatant rip-off format, the stupid, screaming, baying studio audience and the airheaded, dead-behind-the-eyes, dull-as-dishwater, "look-at-me-aren't-I-so-young-and-pretty-and-I'm-friends-with-Peaches-Geldof-doncha-know?" host (Fearne Cotton if the clues weren't so obvious). Yes, apart from all this, Must Be The Music is actually rather passable.

It is, of course, a rip of The X Factor, with the studio audience, the three judges with their buttons that they press to crush people's dreams and the prize of getting into the music industry. However, the key difference is that the people auditioning actually have to be able to play an instrument, which makes them about a million times more talented than the corresponding X Factor warbler.

Unlike The X Factor, the three judges are young, Scottish and black, in that order. We have baby-faced midget Jamie Cullum (famous for playing the piano standing up), Sharleen Spiteri (famous for having the most un-Scottish name ever) and Dizzee Rascal (famous for being the acceptable face of hip hop for the white, British Middle Class).

Presumably, the judges, especially Dizzee, were chosen to appeal to a younger demographic. Sadly, these people, whilst being able to spot musical talent a mile away, cannot pick out the x factor (so to speak) of what makes a musician into a star, Cowell and Walsh's role on The X Factor.

Interestingly, the show appears to have just two rounds of auditions before holding the live semi finals (pronounced LIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEEE semi finals), this despite the fact all the audition venues appear to be full to bursting point, enough to make many more shows about the auditions. This means, either, the majority of the auditions were so terrible they couldn't be shown on TV (not even Sky) or the producers just hired lots of people to stand around looking busy at the venues. Take ya pick.

So basically, Must Be The Music is X Factor minus bad grammar plus instruments minus Cotton (a move that can never be apologised enough for) which leaves it lagging behind it's ITV role model. But it's not at all trying to copy it. Not. One. Little. Bit.

Amazing Away Days

One of the great things about football, and there are many, are the days out to far-flung outposts of the UK (and beyond), encountering strange new towns and odd, potentially aggressive new people that wear different colour shirts to you. The adventure is part of the allure, as is the boozing on the train.

The Saturday just past was Reading's first away game of the season, to our locallest of local derbies this season, Portsmouth, the city where I attend university.

Thinking it would be an easy day out, seeing as I do such the journey there many times a year, I would know the place inside out, where to drink, where to eat, no chance of getting lost and so on. So it twas, that on the morning of the 14^th August, I met my mate and his girlfriend at Basingstoke station and we headed to the coast.

But alas, that was the only part of the day that was to go to plan, an easy day out was not going to be had.

The plan was to go to my new flat and have a few drinks there before casually strolling to the ground in the sun, enjoying the game before heading back home at about 7ish. However, this plan failed at the first hurdle. The key to my flat snapped in the lock. 'Bollocks' I immediately thought, 'it's going to be one of those days.' And so it was.

What followed for the next two hours was yours truly frantically running from the flat, to the estate agents and back again many times, leaving my mate and his other half to try to get the broken half of the key out of the lock with no tools but their fingernails.

Eventually, I was told I needed to call out a locksmith. Cue 45 minutes agonised waiting as the minutes to kick-off ticked down, followed by annoyance at having to pay 90 quid call out, just to get the lock sorted (there was also a downed can of cider in between those two events but that's neither here nor there).

From there, a taxi was ordered to Fratton station, where I ran to get a new key cut before wading through a million intimidating Portsmouth fans to get to the Reading end. Finally, to top it off, the walk back to my flat was in the worst rain ever, my Converse are still wet it was so bad.

Still, it's become something of a tradition for my away days to go awry. Watford last year- my cousin lost his ticket. Bristol City last year- my mate and I walked right past the pub we were meant to go to before he got involved in a 'heated dispute' with a steward. Manchester City in 2007- our coach gets stopped by police. Derby County in 2008- uncle gets bruised ribs, Reading get relegated and my boss from work sees me after I didn't technically ask for the day off.

Ah well, QPR away up next for me. Wonder what will be next to spoil/make my away day.

Our Drugs War (Life and Death of a Dealer)- Mondays @ 8pm- 8 out of 10

God damn you Channel 4! Why must you consistently offer high quality, thought provoking documentaries about controversial subjects. Why! It's so difficult to take the piss out of something so good, though I guess I could have just watched something else that was of poor quality (maybe Channel 5, or Channel 5+1 or Fiver or Five USA).

Anywho, on to the documentary and the reviewing thing. Our Drugs War: Life and Death of a Dealer
is the second in a three part series by documentary-maker Angus MacQueen, renowned for his documentaries on drugs. The series is largely arguing for legalisation, rather than prohibition, of drugs.

This film follows a New York drug dealer by the name of Thomas Winston, who at age 28 has been in prison for a quarter of his life (7 years to those who can't do maths).

Winston began drug dealing at the age of 13, is a black man, lives in the New York Projects and has a small child, born with a woman he barely knows. Paints a stereotypical picture doesn't it?

But no, Winston is a well spoken and intelligent man with the desire to get a 9-5 job. He produces a reasoned argument at the inherent racism of US drug law. How cocaine only carries a penalty of one year in jail but crack cocaine carries a jail term of 10 years. Cocaine is a Wall Street drug, crack a ghetto drug.

Furthermore, the dealers MacQueen speaks to all back up Winston's theory of racist law, saying that their suppliers are white, suburban people and yet they just will not get arrested.

Winston's situation is inescapable due to the lack of support for ex-cons with no education or past jobs. As Winston's councillor explains: What incentive is there for a young man who can earn $15,000 a week dealing drugs, for not a lot of work to go straight and work at McDonalds earning $110 a week?

The genius of this film is that while it should be difficult to pity drug dealers, this film leaves you feeling for Winston and the hand life has dealt him, where he appears to be merely a victim of circumstance and that one slip at the age of 13 leads to a life time of inescapable crime.

MacQueen's bravery as a film maker is also in evidence, particularly going into dangerous areas for a man with a camera and a very white, English accent. Overall, a fantastic documentary with a heart breaking ending. Brava Channel 4.