Britain’s Gay Footballers @9pm Monday, BBC3- 7 out of 10

Over the last few years, BBC3 has managed to find a niche market in the realm of documentary making; oscillating between hard-hitting issues and trivial bollocks, often with a semi-celebrity host to add some white smiley teeth and good hair.

Without even watching the hour-long programme (seriously, I’m typing this sentence at 8.46pm), Britain’s Gay Footballers will be using the standard BBC3 documentary format; get a celebrity face, said term stretched to breaking point here it must be said, to front a look into the cutting subject of homophobia in football. Perhaps it’s for the common touch to draw in the audience figures. Or a C-list celebrity is cheaper than a journalist these days. Who knows? Not me, that’s for damn sure.

However, there is one very marked and hugely important with Britain’s Gay Footballers. A difference anyone with even a passing knowledge of either football or the fight for gay rights in the UK, not the most exclusive centre circle in a Venn diagram in these increasingly enlightened, will recognise the name Fashanu.

Justin Fashanu was the first openly gay British footballer, ‘coming out’ in late 1990 and, depressingly, remains the only one to have come out. He essentially became an outcast in football, with no club offering him a full time contract since he broke the story in an interview with the Sun. His brother and fellow professional John Fashanu even appeared to ostracise him; a decision he clearly deeply regrets now. Fashanu would later commit suicide in 1998 with his suicide note reading he “did not want to give any more embarrassment to my friends and family”.

This documentary follows Amal Fashanu, niece of Justin, son of John Fashanu and near subject of nominative determinism (she works in fashion), as she looks into the reasons why out of some 5000 professional footballers in the UK, none are openly gay.

Straight from the off there are some damning indictments of the football world's attitude towards the issue of homophobia in the sport. Cases in point; the outright refusal of nearly all current professional footballers to talk on camera about the issue, albeit not helped by Amal’s to-the-point-not-so-subtle interviewing technique, the generational difference of ex-professionals who still operate in the sport exemplified by John McGovern’s quotes regarding the word “poof” and the refereeing union blocking a gay assistant referee to be interviewed.

Even the players that do talk about the issue seem to treat the issue somewhat trivially and banally, occasionally slipping back into the “banter” default mode and not confronting the issue. However, credit where credit is due to people like Darren Purse and Paul Robinson at Milwall and Joey Barton to break ranks; particularly the latter who tackled the issue with now trademark intelligence and perspective. If more footballers take the stance of these three, the apparent perception from inside football that speaking about the issue means you are homosexual may well hopefully abate.

As a documentary, the show is a bit on the weak side with Amal’s lack of interview technique causing problems and irrelevant asides such as Amal chatting to her friend over coffee about their thoughts on the issue, which just smacks of filler due to a lack of cutting interviews with those in the field; the Barton and Anton Hysen interviews aside.

All in all, for anyone with a knowledge and interest in the issue of homophobia in football, there was very little new ground covered on why there are no current openly gay footballers; the fear of ridicule from both teammates and fellow professionals, abuse from fans, the culture ingrained from previous generations of players and the unfortunate precedent of Justin Fashanu's eventual fate.

However, that’s not really the point. The real point is that the subject needs coverage and to be aired in the public domain. Despite many column inches and blog bytes (that’s the phrase I’ll use for that idea) devoted to the issue, the oxygen of TV is far more important. A slightly soft documentary on the subject, but heart-wrenching on the Fashanu family level of the programme, is a great starting point but there is a long way to go yet.

Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy @10pm, Thursdays, E4- 5 out of 10

Finally, a show that has lived up to the promise of the Channel 4 comedy sponsors’ Fosters’; “original comedy”. Let’s face it, there are very few places where you might find a Miami-based drug dealer character with a sword and shield (and a bug face) and a man with a seashell as a head dancing to a radio broadcast of a Sherlock Holmes novel.

However, the apt catchline of the sponsor is one of the few positives to come out of Noel Fielding’s latest creation, a surrealist part live-action, part animation half hour romp that even seems to be seeping into the adverts on 4OD, if Gail Porter emerging from portable toilet in Cardiff that had been dropped in by a helicopter is anything to go by.

“Luxury Comedy” brings together the cast of BBC3’s The Mighty Boosh (let the inevitable comparisons begin early), minus Julian Barratt, for a sketch show with a  slight difference as characters from each sketch glide into one another’s segments, each battling for “look at me, aren’t I bizarrely unique and weird” screen time presumably.

The trademark left-Fielding (ha! Word play) ideas are in evidence from the start with outrageous concepts for sketches like a cookery show cum space mission starring Rennie and Gaviscon (who I cannot even begin to describe just exactly how they look) and Roy Circles, the teacher with a military history but happens to have the body of a chocolate finger. Clearly, no expense has been spared on the clothing and make-up departments of “Luxury Comedy”; it would appear blue or yellow are the standard colour faces for the occupants of the “Luxury Comedy” universe.

The seamless transition from live action shots to the oddly beautiful animation of Nigel Coan works a treat but, with this being surrealist comedy, inevitably, the sketches are particularly hit and miss. The Boosh worked, for me, because it had some semblance with reality (identifiable job locations of the main characters for example) and a linear structure. And having Barratt around to reign in Fielding’s wackiest ideas and to provide identifiable character traits for the audience; a middle-aged man not really going anywhere despite (and probably because of) his passions in life.

The best parts of Luxury Comedy are the pieces with the aforementioned semblance to reality. Dondylion, trapped in a zoo with nothing but a tyre on a rope, some Hula Hoops and a picture of David Lee Roth (“King of the lions”) jabbering to himself and slowly going mad is a lovely a oasis of satire about animals caged in zoos in a desert of surrealism.

Elsewhere, against the odds somewhat, Sergeant Raymond Boombox’s tales work as they also have this basis in reality (a cop doing a job) that can be subverted to add the bizarre dialogue of his talking knife wounds and the drug dealer mentioned way back in the intro (well done if you’ve stuck with me this far, incidentally).

However, elsewhere, one just got the sense that the show needed reigning in. It wasn’t a sense of surrealism for the sake of surrealism on the part of Fielding (an outstanding comedic writer and actor in the right dosage and setting) but a lack of input from the producers to keep the show just about enough on the straight and narrow.

Or my descent into premature aging has begun, coupled with not being a resident of or regular visitor to the independent Republic of Camden, and I just didn’t get “it”.

All questions, very few answers

A weekend is a long enough time in football on the pitch; build up to the game, pre-match talk, the match itself, post-match reaction from the manager, TV analysis, Sunday press analysis and then Monday press analysis. Throw in an off the pitch story and it suddenly gets an awful lot longer. And madder too.

It was only announced around 48 hours ago through Reading Football Club’s official website that a previously unheard of company is in the preliminary stages of gaining a significant stake in the club. Blogging in reaction to that announcement, this writer guessed that it would be a while until any further news came out about this investment and it was a while; less than a day.

Since then, two further statements have come out of the club, numerous speculative news articles and countless pages of discussion across the Internet.

Cutting through the speculation, let’s establish the facts as they are at this stage.

Fact number one; a new group called Thames Sport Investment looks set to buy a “significant” stake in Reading Football Club. The fact that the company is yet to be registered at Companies House and there is no evidence of its existence anywhere is testament to the company being a new group.

Fact number two; Sir John Madejski will stay on as Chairman until at least 2014 and will be Life President once he steps down from the Chairman role. Madejski, therefore, will still have a role in the running of the club until 2014.

Fact number three; the main points to the partnership have been outlined and an agreement signed with regard to these from all concerned parties. The deal is scheduled to be completed by the end of March 2012. Until that point, there is no obligation for the persons involved in TSI to be revealed.

Fact number four; TSI will provide limited funds (although it is not stated in what form these funds will be given; loans? Donations? etc.) for Brian McDermott and Nicky Hammond to strengthen the squad this transfer window.

These are the sum total of the facts we know thus far; essentially, what the original statement on Friday night told us. However, there is an awful lot more to the story than the mere facts. Using nothing more than a cynical eye and no insider knowledge, here are what appear to be the assumptions about the takeover circulating around the media and Reading FC messageboards.

Assumption number one; the man behind TSI is Anton Zingarevich, son of a Russian print businessman who was educated to university level in Reading and who was part of a wildly unsuccessful attempt at providing investment for Everton Football Club. Very little information is available on the man and his previous with Everton as a manager of the Fortress Sports Fund might well suggest there is more to the group than Zingarevich but that is also speculation.

Assumption number two; TSI will take a 51% stake in the club, costing £40 million, and so become owners of the club. Like ‘assumption number one’, the prevalence in this assumption seems to come from a short Daily Mail exclusive published on Saturday (subsequently picked up by no other national media outlet but both Reading-based newspapers) but makes logical sense as any new in investor would presumably want majority ownership.

Assumption number three; as is the case with any takeover, rumours about big spending immediately begin springing up, linking anyone and everyone with the club. When the most concrete rumour is a loan deal for an ageing centre forward, fans speculating about big money deals (this transfer window anyway) would appear to be wishful thinking. What kind of investment fund would pump millions of pounds into an operation that they aren’t even owners of yet? A small good-faith payment is feasible but anything in the millions, at this stage anyway, is surely unrealistic? Whilst the fun of takeover talk is built on Championship Manager-style spending, some realism must be taken into consideration, particularly when the identity of the prospective owner is still pending, let alone his wealth.

Assumption four; I’m as big a defender of the way Madejski has sought a buyer over the last five years as anyone. After 20 years+ at the club, he was always likely to want to sell to the right people to continue the superb work that he has done for the club and the town also. However, as has been documented, the last few years have been difficult for Sir John so perhaps his desire to sell has increased thus loosening his ideals for a new owner.

Essentially, straight-up fact-wise, we know very little more than what was said on Friday night, aside from the stage in negotiations Reading Football Club and TSI are. The rest is largely conjecture and speculation on conjecture. It’s very much impossible for any supporter to make a judgement on the proposed takeover based on the facts we have at hand right now. But that won’t stop anyone doing just that, myself included.

This Tweet might well lead to some more concrete information tomorrow but it only raises further questions. How are the Daily Mail getting so many stories on Reading now? If Zingarevich is the sole member of TSI, how has he gone from being a student with only his father’s money to spend to being able to buy a majority stake in a Championship club inside six years?

All things considered, it’s an exciting time to be a Reading fan but an equally confusing one.

A Post-Madejski World?

It seems like an eternity since Sir John Madejski started his search for new financial investment in Reading Football Club. That would be because it was the better part of five years ago and merely a week in football is a long time, as Carlos Tevez seems so eager to prove.

Anyway, upon promotion to the Premier League way back in 2006, Madejski stressed the need for a new financial backer at Reading; a billionaire rather than a millionaire being the main headline grabber.

Fast forward some 60 or so months, all of which passed by with very little news of any interested parties whatsoever, and we arrive at the consequently surprising announcement made a mere two hours ago.

As the Reading Post and Reading Chronicle seemed it prudent to run the whole statement as the bulk of their article on the subject, this blog shall be doing completely the opposite. If you want to read the three paragraph long statement, go here.

Both the Chronicle and the Post seem to be convinced that the deal is the initial announcement for large-scale investment in Reading Football Club, though cynicism would appear to indicate this is a “we-are-not-quite-sure-but-watch-this-space-and-buy-our-paper” play, with the lack of  clear information outside of the statement posted on the official Reading FC site as evidence for this.

All we have to go on right now is a whole lot of conjecture so here that is.

As pointed our rightly on Hob Nob Anyone?, the ‘Thames Sport Investment’ group is not registered at Companies House and a Google (ever reliable as it is) search brings up no relevant links aside from the official site statement, the resultant stories from the Chronicle and Post  (and subsidiary media outlets) and the Hob Nob thread.

As a result of this and the “no further announcements can be made until a binding agreement has been reached” paragraph of the official site statement, would both appear to indicate that “Thames Sports Investment”  is a new company and the next announcement would come once it becomes a registered company.

One of the perceived stumbling blocks when it comes to new ownership at Reading Football Club has been the role of Madejski in a new set up at the club and the theory that he would want to stay on at the club in some capacity. The statement confirms that he will stay on as Chairman for the foreseeable future, despite the agreement with this new group.

For this observer, this would appear to indicate that the “Thames Sport Investment” company is either a new holding company for Reading Football Club with Madejski at its head or a new set of investors who have grouped together and are awaiting approval for their company to be formed, with the blessing of Madejski to work alongside him.

If the eventual outcome is the latter, this would work well as it would allow the Chairman to guide the new investors in how the club works and its identity, leaving the club in safe hands when Madejski should decide to retire from ownership of the club.

On the other hand, if this new company is merely a restructuring of his ownership of the club, it leaves the club in the same position as it was before this evening’s announcement. However, why the fanfare of a statement if this was the case?

One of the things that Madejski cannot be criticised for is having the club’s best interests at heart, which is why news of a more investment or a takeover has been so long in coming as it had to be approved by Madejski that it was right for the club. If the “Thames Sport Investment” company does prove to be a case of new ownership, this observer would feel confident that they had the best interests of the club at heart, thanks to Madejski.

It may well be some weeks however, before the ramifications of this statement become truly clear, though if any Reading fan is expecting a spending spree akin to Leicester as a result of this, its probably best to come back to reality.

A mid-season review

Despite it _­not quite being halfway through the season, coming after the Christmas/New Year run of games and the 3^rd round FA Cup exit, now would seem like an appropriate time for a mid-season review of Reading’s season.

The one idea that can sum up the season thus far is the effect of diminished and enhanced expectations; a theory best surmised in analysing our exits at the first hurdle of both cup competitions this season.

Our defeat to Charlton wasn’t the end of the world and was generally viewed as a chance to concentrate on our league form. On the other hand, an emphatic (if not on paper but on grass) defeat to another in form team from League One, Stevenage, has prompted much navel-gazing.

So, putting aside the difference in historical size of Charlton and Stevenage, what caused such a large discrepancy in the reactions to the respective defeats? It should be noted that seven of the thirteen players who featured in our League Cup exit also made an appearance on Saturday.

The answer is the difference in expectations of Reading’s capabilities between the two points in the season. The Charlton defeat occurred after only one win in our first four league games and a 13^th place in the Championship. So a defeat to a high flying, inform team in the division below us was almost to be expected.

Fast forward four months or so and a run of seven wins in ten games, putting us into the play-offs, the expectations going into the Stevenage game were much higher than they were ahead of the Charlton game. Admittedly, a terrible “performance” on Saturday exacerbated the reaction but sitting in 5^th place gave many fans (and perhaps the team) a sense of entitlement; an effect of enhanced expectations if you will.

The value of this in-depth look at these two games that were not even in the league comes from our form in the Championship between September and January.

Ten wins and six draws from twenty games in that period, including wins over numerous rivals, has catapulted us from lower mid table bona fide play-off contenders. A solid, and sometimes spectacular, centre back partnership between Alex Pearce and Kasparss Gorkss and Adam Federici’s underrated performances has allowed Reading to eke out results without needing to score too many at the other end of the pitch.

However, impressive as four defeats in twenty games and 5^th place in the league is, there is a flip side to it. A commonly used yardstick for promotion is an average of two points per game and no team in the Championship is achieving this currently. This hints at a league in which many teams are very evenly matched thus making our current 5^th place look a bit false; a result of outstanding current form rather than consistency. In each of our last three seasons back at this level, taking into account the number of games played, 39 points for 5^th place is the lowest total required at the turn of the year.

 A top goalscorer with six goals and the four main strikers contributing just over 50% of our total league goals (17 out of 32) tells its own story on Reading’s area of improvement and why they haven’t been able to push on to that magical two points a game mark.

At the start of the season, especially after the departure of Shane Long, there would have been very few Reading fans who could have confidently stated that we would sit 5^th going into 2012. The fact that we are is testament to Brian McDermott, for the second season in a row, forging together a team and playing style that is successful. On that basis, Reading fans should be particularly pleased with our season thus far.

But the concerns that were expressed at the close of the transfer window, when we sat 20^th in the league, still remain; overdependence on Jobi McAnuff and Jimmy Kebe for creativity, a lack of variation in the striking department and a lack of depth in quality both at centre half and on the wings.

Impressive seasons from Federici, Pearce, Gorkss, Mikele Leigertwood, McAnuff and Kebe have masked these flaws so far, as has the rather average standard of the Championship this year.

All in all, Reading’s season has the potential to go one of two ways still. If the above players can keep up their standards and one of the strikers finds a run of goalscoring form, a play-off place is eminently achievable. McDermott’s record in the second half of each of the last two seasons makes this very plausible, if you believe in the repetition of history.

Equally as plausible however is a couple of injuries or a loss of form to key personnel would lead to a reverting of type and a mid table finish. The matches against Cardiff and Stevenage seem to hint at a relatively small squad feeling the effects of a hectic Christmas/New Year period, although a FA-cup free rest of the season may alleviate the impacts of squad tiredness.

Finally, no predictions will be made this time around; even if they are proven emphatically wrong to the benefit of us all.

The Kébé Conundrum

Another transfer window, another “will-he-won’t-he” transfer/contract drama for Reading fans is on the horizon this January with the news that Jimmy Kébé has been offered a new deal to replace the one that expires this Summer.

A man that has enthralled, amused and infuriated (sometimes within the space of five minutes) during his time at the club presents a conundrum to Brian McDermott should he reject the new contract offer; break the bank to keep him or cut your losses in the Summer and move on?

On his day, he is by far and away the best winger to watch in the Championship. He has the ability to tear apart any defence with a combination of pace, trickery and quality of final ball. Anyone who saw his performance against Leicester at home last season will attest to this; he was simply unplayable that day.

However, therein hides the issue. When the last time “your day” was the better part of a year ago, the word inconsistent fits you like a glove. Wingers are naturally inconsistent, whatever level they play at, but the frustrating thing with Kébé has always been that he looks like he could do so much more because he has so much talent. Arguably his best performance since then was against West Ham this season but that can be pretty much put down to a stellar half hour against a tiring ten men and the amusing gloss that his sock-gate antics put over the entire 90 minutes of play.

Couple this perceived lower standard of play with a natural body language that doesn’t scream the effort and commitment English football fans love and theories that the man isn’t trying hard enough or just seeing out is contract start to flourish.

But, despite the consensus being that Kébé has underachieved thus far this season, the fact remains that he has scored once and notched up six assists in the league and so is actively involved in just under a quarter of our total league goals, a ratio only bettered by his captain Jobi McAnuff. For reference, he netted nine times and set up seven goals all last season and ten and five respectively the year before that. While he isn’t scoring as many, he’s making up for it with assists.

Clearly, Kébé is an important facet of this team and, indeed, has been a key element of the three teams McDermott has constructed in his managerial stint; contributing goals and assists aplenty in each of those three very tactically and stylistically different teams. A handy average of active involvement in Reading’s goal scoring in his career here as well as the ability to occasionally tear a defence to shreds should mean McDermott and Nicky Hammond should be doing all they can to keep Kébé at the club.

If we take a wider angle though, Kébé’s number of assists so far doesn’t even put him in the top twelve assist-makers for the season in the Championship thus far.

 Furthermore, six out of that top twelve did not play in this division last season which suggests that there is talent in the lower divisions capable of stepping up to the Championship and excelling. With McDermott’s track record of picking up signings (his number of transfer failures can easily be counted on one hand), finding a replacement for Kébé may be easier than first thought.

The overarching issue here would be that it would never be a like for like swap as there are very few players around right now that can generate the excitement Kébé does when in full flow. A replacement might offer the same contribution as Kébé in raw stats terms but the positives that cannot be quantified (putting fear into opponents and other psychological aspects) is a lot harder to replace. This talent, the very same talent that causes him to be loved and hated in equal measure by Reading fans, is the secret ingredient that makes the contract tug-of-war so interesting.

Man Vs Food @ 10am and 2pm Wednesdays, Dave

As human beings, every so often we need to ingest a combination of carbohydrates, fats, protein, sugars, salts, vitamins and various other (technical term alert) things to keep our body functioning it properly. When they’re together in one product, we call them food. Food is our ally. Food is our friend.

Except, in Man Vs Food when food is made into an enemy that must be eaten and eaten and eaten and eaten and eaten until there is nothing of it left and we stand triumphantly over a mountain of carcasses and plants. Yup, this is the deadly sin of gluttony in HD.

Naturally, the show comes from America where competitive eating not only has TWO governing bodies but is also occasionally aired on sports broadcaster ESPN and the Fox Network.

The premise of the programme is that Adam Richman, actor and food enthusiast (at what point does “food enthusiast” become “greedy, fat bastard?”) travels around the USA sampling food and…well, that’s pretty much it really.

Essentially, the half hour can be broken down into two parts; local culinary history followed by glutton by the plate load and lots of shots of Richman sweating profusely; the quality and quantity respectively alluded to in its Wikipedia page.

To be fair to Richman, somewhat obviously, he does really love his food. He really knows how to verbally express the tastes of food and would make a decent food critic. This makes the first half of the show eminently watchable as he enjoys local delicacies or age-old family recipes that are invariably fried.

But there is a reason that Man Vs Food has racked four seasons worth of offerings now and it isn’t food/travel documentary-ing. It is watching a guy inching closer to a coronary one French fry and one segment of what used to be a pig at a time.

The second half of the show involves Richman attempting some manner of food-eating task; a variant on something being really hot (chicken wings, chilli, sushi etc.) or really, really big, like a pizza as large as the wheel of a cart, a burger bigger than Richman’s head, enough catfish fillets to cause a problem for the local ecosystem, those kind of things.

In this afternoon’s episode, for example, the challenge was to consume 6 pounds worth of meat and bread with a side of a pound and half of French Fries. All in all, it would be like eating a less hairy version of my cat. Pork and ham and turkey and beef burger and sausages and some more pork, each smothered in BBQ sauce, all come together to form a burger type object as thick as a man’s thigh.

“A human can’t fit that inside him” Adam exclaims as the monstrosity emerges from the kitchen before proceeding to try. Perhaps he has the memory of a goldfish. Or the stomach of a whale. Or both.

Either way, neither physical mutation aids him in his quest as the 45 minutes elapse with only two thirds of the food clogging up Richman’s colon and making for an uncomfortable morning the next day.

This is where the slight ethical dilemma that the show presents becomes apparent; leftover food and eating for the sake of eating. Despite Richman’s end of show sign-off (“In the endless battle between man and food, this week, man/food is the winner”), some people could quite do with that leftover food. The issue is less apparent than if the show was half an hour of Richman eating a pizza the size of a paddling pool and shouting “NO FOOD FOR YOU! ALL FOOD IS FOR RICHMAN!” in Ethiopia whilst locals look on. Even racists wouldn’t watch that. But still, the issue kind of lurks over the whole affair.

The other slight concern/ reason for watching is the physical condition of Richman himself during the challenge. Whilst not being noticeably fat, an hour on a treadmill a day sees to that, clogging up one’s arteries with the various fats that only a six types of meat sandwich can bring cannot be contusive to a healthy lifestyle. But, hey, he’s having fun as this clip clearly demonstrates. Besides, it wouldn't be the same if he was eating tonnes of healthy food like four bushels of apples or a trough of pears or a barrel of carrots.

In a way, Richman is like the Charlie Sheen of the food world; people tuning in to watch him slowly breakdown and threaten possible death through ingesting way too much of an item into his body.

As he chugs through the half cow before him, sweat develops on his brow, the breaths are deeper and more strained and some twitching occurs; almost as if the bovine’s last seconds of life are being recreated in the body of the man eating his corpse.

It’s all strangely mesmeric, compelling and quite an addictive guilty pleasure. And so is the show.