What My First Day As A London Commuter Has Taught Me

Well, today was my first day as a proper out-of-town to the capital commuter. Reading to Teddington via Twickenham. Alright, it's hardly Soho or the City or Fleet Street but it's a start. Besides, FourFourTwo magazine is the biggest publication I've worked at in my fledgling career (and I include the last issue of Pugwash's massive distribution in that).

Being a person that has never really lived before, the amount of times I've been to London can be counted on the fingers of one hand, even if said hand had once been put through some kind of farm equipment and was left without the full complement of digits.

As a result, I'm still rather new to the whole working in London thing and so some things still raffle baffle or amuse my simple, less urban mind.

Firstly, fold-up bicycles. ALOL. Has fashion and environmental consciousness ever been so further apart? They look like trombones when folded up and paper imitations of bicycles when unfolded. And the smug look on their owners faces? Bugger off. I can save the environment by not looking like a twat. It's called walking and it's free. Jog on, so to speak.

Secondly, and this is more a public transport in general kind of thing, why can't there be lanes in railway stations, like motorway lanes. For example, you can have old couple, slow walking man on phone and tourist on the slower lane, then fast walkers in the middle lane and people running to catch their trains or "VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO RUN EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT" in the outside lane. Simples, n'est pas?

Thirdly, working on your lunch break. This used to be an alien concept to me, much like having sex with your socks on or watching a show with Fearne Cotton in it. Sadly, and thankfully, only working during my lunch hour has now become familiar to me. Well, I've done it toady but I don't like it!

Lastly, the token man running for a train. Usually a source of amusement for me, not today. Today, it was me. I ran and I ran, bulldozing women with shopping on the way as I went, like a sweaty hippo in a green hoodie.

Oh how things can change. Even in a day.