Happiness can come in many different forms and can have different lengths in how long it lasts. Find a fiver? Soon you’ll be cursing yourself for spending it on a couple of pints. Eat a delicious meal? After the last bite, it’s over. The most intense and natural form of happiness, the orgasm? Over before you know it, though the high remains for a while after.
Football is similar but the feeling tends to last longer. A win on the Saturday tends to make your weekend whilst a midweek win makes you go into work happy. The equivalent of the orgasm, in terms of intensity, is promotion; a huge outpouring of emotion in one fleeting moment (no innuendo) that continues to linger throughout the Summer.
Play-offs (and knock-out football as a whole) however are something altogether different; one off games are where beyond happiness occurs (and indeed, beyond sadness). This is the realm of elation and despair; where the pressure is so intense that the sense of relief at the end of it magnifies the emotion felt at the result by 100 times.
When Reading won promotion to the Premier League in 2005/06, it was such a foregone conclusion that there was no pressure when the eventual promotion and winning of the league was confirmed. Sure, the outpouring of emotion at the length of time supporting the club was finally rewarded with top flight football, but this was different, the happiness had already been coming out of every pore as the knowledge that promotion was assured sank in more and more. This was happiness and joy but not the height of emotion, for me anyway.
Promotion or a cup won (or indeed lost) is thus far more emotional and draining than a league being won or relegation occurring, provided these aren’t last day of the season events, the relegation at Derby proving this.
The last time, as a Reading fan, I felt like this depth of emotion was in the aftermath of the 2001/02 season when we played Brentford in, what was essentially, a play-off to see who would get the second automatic promotion spot to Division One; that was elation as the referee blew the final whistle and Reading fans poured onto the pitch of the Madejski Stadium after watching the game on a purpose built big screen.
Tonight was elation as it had the key ingredients of it being a one-off game and the prize being so huge as Wembley is still a wonderful reward by itself. Even being away from home, in a half empty Student’s Union, didn’t dampen the feeling.
What makes the feeling even more intense is therelatively short period between the play-off semi final and the final, compared to the winning of promotion and playing in the higher tier the next season. Thus, my current feeling oscillates between wondering how ecstatic I’ll be should we triumph but dreading the feeling should we lose. Only time will tell but 12 days is too bloody long nonetheless.
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