A Thought on the International Response to the Pakistani Floods

Not my original thought but courtesy of my dad and I completely agree.

If the West seriously wants to get Muslim states on their side in the War on Terror/Islamic fundamentalism, why have they given groups like Al-Qaeda the perfect ammunition for propaganda by their response to the floods in Pakistan?

By not donating huge amounts of aid to the ravaged Muslim country, unlike in the aftermath of previous natural disasters, the new propaganda message of Al-Qaeda is simple:

"Look, after Haiti's earthquake, they got huge amounts of aid. After the 2004 tsunami, a tonne of aid was donated to the countries affected. But look, when a disaster is based in a Muslim country, no aid is forthcoming because the West hates Muslims."

Simple, perhaps not true, but devastatingly effective. If I was a Pakistani man who has lost his family and possessions and saw no aid being given to my country, I would certainly believe such a message if I heard it.

So, why are the West ruining their best chance at reviving their relationship with the Islamic world? David Cameron's "terrorists" comments probably didn't help is all I would say.

Must Be The Music- Sundays @7pm Sky One- 7 out of 10

Apart from the crap grammar in the title, the blatant rip-off format, the stupid, screaming, baying studio audience and the airheaded, dead-behind-the-eyes, dull-as-dishwater, "look-at-me-aren't-I-so-young-and-pretty-and-I'm-friends-with-Peaches-Geldof-doncha-know?" host (Fearne Cotton if the clues weren't so obvious). Yes, apart from all this, Must Be The Music is actually rather passable.

It is, of course, a rip of The X Factor, with the studio audience, the three judges with their buttons that they press to crush people's dreams and the prize of getting into the music industry. However, the key difference is that the people auditioning actually have to be able to play an instrument, which makes them about a million times more talented than the corresponding X Factor warbler.

Unlike The X Factor, the three judges are young, Scottish and black, in that order. We have baby-faced midget Jamie Cullum (famous for playing the piano standing up), Sharleen Spiteri (famous for having the most un-Scottish name ever) and Dizzee Rascal (famous for being the acceptable face of hip hop for the white, British Middle Class).

Presumably, the judges, especially Dizzee, were chosen to appeal to a younger demographic. Sadly, these people, whilst being able to spot musical talent a mile away, cannot pick out the x factor (so to speak) of what makes a musician into a star, Cowell and Walsh's role on The X Factor.

Interestingly, the show appears to have just two rounds of auditions before holding the live semi finals (pronounced LIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEEE semi finals), this despite the fact all the audition venues appear to be full to bursting point, enough to make many more shows about the auditions. This means, either, the majority of the auditions were so terrible they couldn't be shown on TV (not even Sky) or the producers just hired lots of people to stand around looking busy at the venues. Take ya pick.

So basically, Must Be The Music is X Factor minus bad grammar plus instruments minus Cotton (a move that can never be apologised enough for) which leaves it lagging behind it's ITV role model. But it's not at all trying to copy it. Not. One. Little. Bit.

Amazing Away Days

One of the great things about football, and there are many, are the days out to far-flung outposts of the UK (and beyond), encountering strange new towns and odd, potentially aggressive new people that wear different colour shirts to you. The adventure is part of the allure, as is the boozing on the train.

The Saturday just past was Reading's first away game of the season, to our locallest of local derbies this season, Portsmouth, the city where I attend university.

Thinking it would be an easy day out, seeing as I do such the journey there many times a year, I would know the place inside out, where to drink, where to eat, no chance of getting lost and so on. So it twas, that on the morning of the 14^th August, I met my mate and his girlfriend at Basingstoke station and we headed to the coast.

But alas, that was the only part of the day that was to go to plan, an easy day out was not going to be had.

The plan was to go to my new flat and have a few drinks there before casually strolling to the ground in the sun, enjoying the game before heading back home at about 7ish. However, this plan failed at the first hurdle. The key to my flat snapped in the lock. 'Bollocks' I immediately thought, 'it's going to be one of those days.' And so it was.

What followed for the next two hours was yours truly frantically running from the flat, to the estate agents and back again many times, leaving my mate and his other half to try to get the broken half of the key out of the lock with no tools but their fingernails.

Eventually, I was told I needed to call out a locksmith. Cue 45 minutes agonised waiting as the minutes to kick-off ticked down, followed by annoyance at having to pay 90 quid call out, just to get the lock sorted (there was also a downed can of cider in between those two events but that's neither here nor there).

From there, a taxi was ordered to Fratton station, where I ran to get a new key cut before wading through a million intimidating Portsmouth fans to get to the Reading end. Finally, to top it off, the walk back to my flat was in the worst rain ever, my Converse are still wet it was so bad.

Still, it's become something of a tradition for my away days to go awry. Watford last year- my cousin lost his ticket. Bristol City last year- my mate and I walked right past the pub we were meant to go to before he got involved in a 'heated dispute' with a steward. Manchester City in 2007- our coach gets stopped by police. Derby County in 2008- uncle gets bruised ribs, Reading get relegated and my boss from work sees me after I didn't technically ask for the day off.

Ah well, QPR away up next for me. Wonder what will be next to spoil/make my away day.

Our Drugs War (Life and Death of a Dealer)- Mondays @ 8pm- 8 out of 10

God damn you Channel 4! Why must you consistently offer high quality, thought provoking documentaries about controversial subjects. Why! It's so difficult to take the piss out of something so good, though I guess I could have just watched something else that was of poor quality (maybe Channel 5, or Channel 5+1 or Fiver or Five USA).

Anywho, on to the documentary and the reviewing thing. Our Drugs War: Life and Death of a Dealer
is the second in a three part series by documentary-maker Angus MacQueen, renowned for his documentaries on drugs. The series is largely arguing for legalisation, rather than prohibition, of drugs.

This film follows a New York drug dealer by the name of Thomas Winston, who at age 28 has been in prison for a quarter of his life (7 years to those who can't do maths).

Winston began drug dealing at the age of 13, is a black man, lives in the New York Projects and has a small child, born with a woman he barely knows. Paints a stereotypical picture doesn't it?

But no, Winston is a well spoken and intelligent man with the desire to get a 9-5 job. He produces a reasoned argument at the inherent racism of US drug law. How cocaine only carries a penalty of one year in jail but crack cocaine carries a jail term of 10 years. Cocaine is a Wall Street drug, crack a ghetto drug.

Furthermore, the dealers MacQueen speaks to all back up Winston's theory of racist law, saying that their suppliers are white, suburban people and yet they just will not get arrested.

Winston's situation is inescapable due to the lack of support for ex-cons with no education or past jobs. As Winston's councillor explains: What incentive is there for a young man who can earn $15,000 a week dealing drugs, for not a lot of work to go straight and work at McDonalds earning $110 a week?

The genius of this film is that while it should be difficult to pity drug dealers, this film leaves you feeling for Winston and the hand life has dealt him, where he appears to be merely a victim of circumstance and that one slip at the age of 13 leads to a life time of inescapable crime.

MacQueen's bravery as a film maker is also in evidence, particularly going into dangerous areas for a man with a camera and a very white, English accent. Overall, a fantastic documentary with a heart breaking ending. Brava Channel 4.

Amish: The World’s Squarest Teenagers- Sundays @ 8pm Channel 4- 8 out of 10

If there is one thing the Daily Mail has taught me, it's that people who are different to me are to be distrusted, stigmatised and are to be very fearful of because they may well cause some new kind of cancer. Of course, this is complete bollocks but that's the world we live in, negative influences are an awful lot more powerful than positive ones.

Which is a shame really because really, deep down, we are all very similar, something very much proven by Amish: The World's Squarest Teenagers.

Despite being marketed as a "look at the people that are different to us and laugh at them for it" kinda show, it really is much more than that. It is on Channel 4 remember, not BBC3 although there are elements of the 'point-and-patronise' style of documentary making so favoured by the Beeb's downmarket third channel.

The show centres on taking five young people from an Amish community, those folk with barns and awesome facial hair, out of their comfort zone each week, living with British teenagers from different social groups and seeing how they react and interact, like a good old fashioned social experiment.

In the first episode, the five young Amish (they're not teenagers, one is 23 for Gord's sake) stay with a group of teenagers in South London from Black and Asian backgrounds. They go off to a park to play rounders, they go shopping, they talk about how people get stabbed and shot near their homes, all nice wholesome, Christian stuff.

However, for a group of young people who have never encountered crime, violence, sex before marriage, single mothers and all of London's pleasures, the Amish kids take it remarkably in their stride, showing a very high level of maturity. To their credit, the British yoofs are very similar with their respect towards Amish beliefs.

No scene demonstrates this more than when one of the British teenagers, a young female Muslim, takes them to a mosque for the first time and rather than feeling threatened by it , the Amish are curious and recognise the similarities between the two faiths not the differences. But hah! They don't know who John Lennon was so let us laugh on them!

On a serious note, this documentary provides a welcome contrast to the stereotypical picture of today's teenagers painted by the tabloids, showing them as mature human beings, more than capable of interacting with those different to them and respecting their beliefs, hobbies and way of life. Bravo!

All in all, for the Amish folk, it's all very similar to a middle class, British person's gap year experience, only they tie it into the Amish tradition of Rumspringa which sounds like a German heavy metal festival. Anywho, the concepts are basically the same; it's all about finding yourself, cha?

Overall, Amish: The World's Squarest Teenagers continues the fine tradition of Channel 4 documentaries that are genuinely interesting, thoughtful, measured, sensitive and, yes, entertaining from which the BBC should take a number of notes, primarily "1. This is how it should be done!!!" Although, the forthcoming episode looks far more of a challenge for the Amish however, with a very different British teenage lifestyle- the white, indie, hippie, cross over cunts with all their booze, weed and stupid curly hair.

Toy Story 3D- (U) - 6 out of 10

Looking back, wasn't everything always when you were younger? Sweets and chocolate tasted better with the added bonus of not having to worry about the effect they have on your teeth and body shape. The summers lasted longer, were sunnier, full of endless hours down the park and no burdens of money bringing one down. You could accidentally brush another person's chest/ arse region/ genital region without the cheeks reddening, awkwardly mumbling sorry and not being able to look them in the eye for two weeks or so. Simpler times.

And of course, films were always better, full of innocence and colour and fun and silly characters and happy endings. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, wasn't it lovely? But alas, age is nothing but a cynicism-creating device where you come out on the other side all gnarled and cynical.

So we come to Toy Story 3 (or 3D if you really must insist). Way back in my own youth, the original Toy Story was the first ever film I saw at the cinema and thus has a very special place in my heart. I loved it and still do to this day. But this new film just feels like a horrible, exploitative piece of bastardisation.

Firstly, it may just be my age showing, but this new offering seemed largely devoid of jokes, apart from the occasional zinging one liner from Hamm (still my favourite character), the extended Spanish Buzz gag and the Ken-Barbie interactions. The one thing animated films need to survive is both jokes for kids and subtler ones that adults will get but Toy Story 3 lacks this.

Secondly, the storyline (solid but not spectacular) took at least half of the film to get going, whilst at times lacked a coherency where it appeared the writers were working ad hoc, not thinking things through, which is unacceptable after having over a decade to produce the film.

Lastly, the gimmick of 3D. So many films since Avatar have jumped on the 3D bandwagon to make a few more pounds at the box office and very few have been worth the additional two quid entrance. They have been largely shot in 3D at last minute so huge swathes of the movie is not done properly and adds nothing to the experience. Toy Story 3D is another example of this where the 3D effect was only noticeable every so often and only to show the distance between characters in a scene, hardly Avatar's sweeping 3D landscapes. Note to film makers, spend less on 3D effect and more on your writers.

Overall, whilst still watchable as a movie, I was left with a feeling that this film could have been so much more than a lame tacking on to the outstanding achievements of the first two Toy Story films. The loss of childhood innocence indeed.

Inception- (12A)- 9 out of 10

Hype is a funny thing. No matter what the subject of said hype, England's World Cup chances, a sunny summer or your first sexual encounter, almost invariably it ends with tears, soggy sausages and frustration/disappointment (in that particular order, though in some cases all four). However, there is a reason we all still believe the hype and that is the hope that hype brings. The hope that, maybe, just maybe, the next overly hyped subject will be worth and that perhaps, just this once, we will come out of the other side of it with our faith rewarded and our hope restored until the next crushing blow that life brings, you're bus being late or something like that.

Anywho, after reading countless reviews marking inception down as THE SHIZZ and that I would be blown away, it was with some trepidation I took my seat. But some 2-and-a-half-hours later (which flew by incidentally) my hope was indeed restored until the crushing blow came (it being that my favourite takeaway was shut for the night…)

The story follows Dom Cobb (Di Caprio) who is essentially a man that goes into people's dreams to steal ideas. Oh, and he has a lot of emotional baggage. A lot. Which may or may not affect the plot of the film in a substantial way. Or maybe not at all. This is me trying to be spoiler free.

To get what he wants (spoiler free!) Cobb is offered a job by a businessman where he must plant an idea (rather than steal one) into the head of the businessman's rival's son and heir. To do this, Cobb puts together a team to travel into the head of the heir via his dreams.

What follows is a gloriously put together action-cum-Sci-Fi-cum- tortured romance film sprinkled with one-liners. The fight scenes are perfectly choreographed with echoes of The Matrix in places, the relationships between characters built steadily, plot twists coming thick and fast and enough action in amongst the intellectual aspect to keep the 14-year-olds behind me interested for a whole 140 minutes.

My two criticisms would be these. First, the film largely uses Ellen Page's character as basically a plot device. Her lines largely seem to just be questions aimed at Di Caprio's character which aim to clear up any intellectual barriers for the audience (kind of a layman's approach) and makes her character seem misplaced in the 'dream team', so to speak, that Cobb puts together, an apprentice among experts if you will.

My second criticism is the ending which, without giving too much away, at first appears to be a very good idea but on reflection seems flimsy and ultimately one twist too far.

But largely, this is a terrific film full of twists, incredible action sequences, an intriguing intellectual element, solid albeit not spectacular acting, all delivered at a steady pace that allows you to keep up. Although, as a friend of mine noted, it may now cause you to question your own dreams.

The Strange and Disturbing Tale of Raoul Moat, Sky News and Modern Morality

So there we were, myself and my girlfriend, sat in front of the TV on a Friday night with a tub of ice cream and some cider, planning to stick on a film and probably fall asleep with it on. But then, just as we were getting up to put on Sherlock Holmes, a banner popped up on the bottom of the screen over the Simpsons (we were watching Sky One). The banner said; "Raoul Moat surrounded by police. Switch to Sky News Channel 501 for more details".

"Oh," we thought "switch over just to see what's going on and then we will watch the film." An hour later, we were still watching but we managed to tear ourselves away, only looking again before going to bed at midnight. However, that hour said all that needed to be said for the state of modern morality that we all adhere to.

All the "news" consisted of was repeated shots (so to speak) of some footage caught from apparently up a tree by Sky News cameramen, showing the police negotiators and continued live footage of the barricade put up at the end of the road the incident was occurring on. Occasionally, the reporter would step in front of the camera to tell us the same information we had heard time and time again over the last week.

After a while, it became clear that all Sky News (and indeed, all the news outlets) wanted was the 'money shot' of Moat holding the shotgun to his neck. This was clear by the way the cameramen who caught the footage of the negotiating team kept panning left to where Moat was, thankfully covered by trees from the vantage point of the camera. This isn't the concern as this is the way the news operates, it wants to get the most shocking shot.

The main concern was that the vast majority of people, myself included, was just watching, hoping to see a man end his life, live on TV. There was no other reason for watching this 'news'. It was pure voyeurism and rubber-necking.

A final point, a quick look on the BBC News website offers you a video entitled "The moment gunman stand-off ends", in perhaps the most disturbing title ever. For the sake of Moat, a murderer but still a human being, don't watch it.

The Value of Low Expectations

The one surprise was that we didn't take it to penalties to have our arses handed to us. And handed to us our arses indeed were. England's biggest ever World Cup Finals defeat. Humiliation, thy name is Joachim Low.

Even the elaborate 'Low Expectations' defence failed to work. To get round this, England launched a quasi-comeback that began with Upson's goal and ended with the third German goal, encompassing Lampard's 'goal' and the same player hitting the post. What this did was rouse my expectations into thinking "we can bloody well do this" but then dashed them in a cruel manner. A delightful new tactic developed by the England football team.

Ah yes, THAT 'goal', the motif that will dominate all of the papers tomorrow, not just the red-tops but the broadsheets too. The simple fact is, it shouldn't. As Lee Dixon (perhaps pundit of the tournament so far) rightly said on Match of the Day, it will just cover the up the cracks. We are not good enough and haven't been for at least 40 years now. We are a second rate footballing nation that has no right to go into any major tournament expecting to win it. We are on the same level as France and Spain, occasionally good enough but we only have a small number of trophies to show for it. The media should accept this but no, of course, hype sells.

It would appear, in this blogger's opinion, that the fault lies with the players. After the 2006 World Cup, Erikkson's laidback attitude to the team was criticised. Now, Capello is too authoritarian. The one constant feature? The players. Something just changes in them when they touch down in a host country and they cannot play together. Indeed, today it looked as if they had never even met each other. Where had the confidence from the qualifiers gone?

At this point, in my opinion, the clear solution is this. Ask Capello if he has any intention to stay longer than 2012. If not, get rid of him and get someone in who is. Then, a cull of this team is required, voluntarily or not. Get rid of James, Joe Cole, Heskey, Lampard, Ferdinand to start with. Bring in youth. Build a team with Adam Johnson and James Milner on the wings, Rooney up front, Hart in goal and say this is a long term project. If we don't qualify for Euro 2012, it's not the end of the world. Blood the youngsters and get them ready for 2014. A long term project with low expectations.


 

The Second Round, Not The Round of Bloody Sixteen

Just where has this World Cup gone? It's already 2/3s over in terms of games, over halfway in terms of days left and over half of the teams that started have gone home to vilification (France and Italy), jubilation (New Zealand) or torture chambers. (North Korea and possibly those dodgy Swiss)

Anywho, enough living in the past, onwards to the recent present and immediate future. Earlier today, Uruguay beat South Korea in a largely uninspiring game, save for that magnificent goal by Suazo, who got 49 goals in 50 games for Ajax last season, if you hadn't heard for the 1 millionth time! In other news, my new favourite team, Ghana, beat the US through two outstanding goals.

What I like about Ghana is they retain their identity, despite all the marketing and commercial bollocks the World Cup has now become, and are unafraid to show their raw emotions in victory or defeat. Note the running around with the Ghanaian flag at the end of today's game. Plus, this blogger's neighbour is Ghanaian and it's a joy to hear his celebrations at the final whistle. Although, on a sadder note, its disappointing to see the tactics of time wasting and feigning injury are present with the Black Stars.

Now, onto the big one tomorrow. I can't buy the optimism that surrounds the English media and the majority of fans right now. We squeezed through in a poor group, scoring only two goals and the team, albeit looked better in places on Wednesday, appear to have no confidence in their own belief that was so evident in the qualifiers. There are so many things that need to go our way; Rooney suddenly hitting form, Lampard showing up in a major, international competition for the first time since 2004, hoping Germany's inexperienced and young team are overawed and so on.

It's to say we don't have a chance but a lot of luck has to go our way and I personally will be going into the game tomorrow with a view that we will not be going further in this competition. Avoid disappointment by setting low goals ya see? I'll go a 2-1 win to the Germans and lots of xenophobic stereotypes in the red tops over the next three days.

Finally, my tips to win the thing, the ones that started badly but working their way to top gear: Spain who will play Brazil in the final in a match billed as the neutrals final but will descend into a farce full of diving and gamesmanship